Monday, 21 July 2008

Where I'm At

Yesterday Brother Shaw told me there's a Nova Scotia saying that says, "Stay where you're at and I'll come where you're to."
Here's where I'm at today:
For some reason the new camera orientation class at The Camera Store was cancelled Saturday but Ken and I went down to the store anyways, and we bought a new camera bag for me.

I'm hoping it's just the right size for my camera, my wallet, and my cell phone so that I'm not trying to carry around a camera bag and a purse at the same time.
.

It's probably for the best that I'll have to wait a couple of weeks for the DSLR class. The more I use my camera the more questions I have, and therefore the longer I wait the more valuable the class will be. However, close-up photos have been instantly better.
.

Especially for subjects that will stay still like my favorite roses in my backyard. Too bad most of my subjects are in constant motion.
*

This morning I had a bad dream. The kind you have to fight your way out of and wake up from to make sure it's only a dream. Then, soon after I woke up, I heard Steven in the bathroom and I remembered we had committed to running together every morning for the next 2 weeks to train together before football tryouts start on July 28. I really didn't wake up feeling like a run, but I dragged myself out of bed and off we went. We did my 5K route. We've never gone for a jog together before, and it turns out we are perfect running partners because our strides are almost the same length. Steven is stronger on sprinting than long distance, and he's pretty sure that sprinting is more important in football, but we think that endurance will be a factor by the end of the 2-hour tryouts every night for a week.

When we got home Steven ate 4 breakfasts, and I went upstairs and did a little crying in the shower because my dream came back to me. Where were the running endorphins? Not chasing the sad feelings from my dream away! What I dreamed this morning was that Chloe had died as a baby and that it was the anniversary of her death. It was crushing.

,
Focusing on picturing her 7 year old face in my mind helped.
,
Moving on.
,
This coming week we have nothing calendared, but we have a long list of things we want to do this summer, thanks to Auntie O's visit last week. Milly's mom sat down with my old Martha Stewart Kid's magazines one night last week and made a list of fun ideas to do with Milly the rest of the summer, and Chloe couldn't stand not having a list of her own, so she started one herself. We're going to Calaway Park, Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump, the library, making treats, going to a splash park, doing crafts. . . and that's just this week.
.
We do have one thing calendared on Thursday: Steven has an interview with the Bishop to receive his Faith in God Award which he has worked on over the past 4 years - saving memorizing the Articles of Faith for last. The interview is also going to cover preparing to be ordained a deacon on August 10th. I'm really excited about Steven's upcoming ordination - he's so ready. Ken and I both marvel and the growth we've seen in our boy in the past year.
.
I remember a long time ago a mother, who was further along in mothering than I was, remarking to me that 'there is nothing more thrilling than normal growth and development.' As I watch my kids grow and develop there doesn't seem to be anything normal about it, miraculous seems like a better word to describe my wonder. She was right about one thing: it is a thrill.

14 comments:

Neighbor Jane Payne said...

Barb, this is such a newsy/comfortable/engaging (oh, shoot, there isn't a word to describe what I want to say) post. It makes me want to say so many things back:

-I like your bag.
-I like your up-close photos.
-I feel sadly for you about your dream. I HATE those kinds.
-Hooray for matching strides with kids.
-Hooray you can do 5K
-I like the woman's quote "there is nothing more thrilling than normal growth and development" and your interpretation as miraculous even better.
-That's exciting about Steven's next big step.
-Did I miss something? Who is Auntie O and Millie?
-Your coming events sound summer-ific.

And thank you so much for the card. It arrived Saturday and it made me feel just like this post did. If only I had the word to describe it.

Jill said...

Dreams like that are so hard to shake off.

You're such a good mom to get up and go running to help your son train for football. I think Whitney and I need to start walking so we'll both be ready for soccer season coming up.

Kelly said...

Your new camera bag is decidedly "you"! I hope it works out beautifully for you. I'd like to take a class with my camera, too. I still use it on manual, which is just a waste.

Sorry about your dream. I think dreams are so bizarre because it's like you really experienced what you dreamed, even though it wasn't real. So, it does sometimes leave a long lasting effect. I woke up so tense and spun out yesterday because of a dream ... the only detail I can remember though is that Barbara Walters had seen a picture of herself in someone else's purse and she was freaking out about it. Why in the world did that upset me so? I'm sure there were details I did not remember when I was awake, but really.

Yea for you and Steven on the run! I can't really believe he and Bryn are turning 12 this year.

Katie A. said...

Ooh, I like your camera bag. I need one too. Glad you're learning to use your camera. I still have only a base knowledge of what mine is capable of...even though it's the same one I use at work.

Sorry about your dream. I hate that kind. Especially when you can't quite remember what the dream was, but it still is enough to upset you for the rest of the day.

Good luck to Seven in all of his up-coming events.

cheetah (aka rglhm) said...

Oh, that dream is going to haunt me! I feel sad just thinking of it. SO SAD!!! Purse is fabulous. Hope the list doesn'tkill you

Marie said...

Prelude: The kids have had a rotating stomach bug for a few days.

Last night, I had just gone to bed and I heard Carter crying out that he felt like he was going to throw up. Dirk was still in the living room, and so I assumed he would go help Carter. I hear Carter wretch. Then I hear him cry out, "Isn't anyone going to help me?" in a heart breaking tone of voice. I spring from my bed, dash out of the room, and say a few things to Dirk about his parental neglegence in a less-than-kind voice. He apologizes, and says he didn't hear anything, and runs to Carter's aid. Very soon, he comes up the stairs. Carter is completely asleep, no vomit in sight.

I had dreamed it all.

Then it was my turn to apologize to Dirk.

Cecilia said...

*I love your new camera bag and the new pictures!

*I'm sorry about your bad dream!

*You're a great Mom for running with your son!

*Way to go Steven for the award!

* YOU ROCK!

Michelle A. said...

These type of dreams are very awful - I've had them and the relief of waking is so incredible - knowing it was just a dream.

I can't wait to see all the great photos you take with your new camera - I love the ones so far! Very fuN!

I have always had the wish that my girls and I will run together when they are older -that exercise and staying active will be something that we do together. I love that you made this goal with your son -
You are such an awesome mom!

The monkey bunch said...

I love, love your camera bag. I have been looking for something like that for a long time. Thanks for getting me to have something specific to look for, now!

Tiffany said...

I agree--so many things to comment on.

Hooray for a new camera--such a cute bag!

Dreams--so sorry for yours. I've had a run of those lately--they are upsetting.

Have fun with your summer plans!

Tiffany said...

I agree--so many things to comment on.

Hooray for a new camera--such a cute bag!

Dreams--so sorry for yours. I've had a run of those lately--they are upsetting.

Have fun with your summer plans!

Hilary said...

I have that bag in red! How fun!

Your dream sounds awful...

Amanda L. said...

I feel the same way watching my kids grow up. No one ever told me it would be so heart wrenching and thrilling at the same time.

Good for you for planning some fun activities with your kids. I gotta do some more of that the next few weeks!

michelle said...

I love this post. I love your camera bag, and the fact that you are training with Steven -- what an amazing mom.