Sunday, 25 January 2009

I'm not running at 100%.
I don't know what it is exactly. General apathy. Sore feet. A need for large quantities of sleep. All of the above.
We're getting by. I'm getting through the necessities. (It seems I can only write in short sentences. That pretty much sums it all up.)
I'm just not moving forward. All I can do is get by.
On Saturday I thought I was back. I made valentines with Carmen and Chloe. Some persistent clutter got cleared away. And I was looking forward to a week with all the kids back in school. (Jaclyn and Steven have been home studying for finals and midterms respectively.)
I thought I might have a productive week ahead of me.
Till I took a call today and said yes to working an extra shift for a hygienist who has a child in the hospital. Can't say no to that.
And till I reached for the Advil tonight. (Burning eyes, ache-y head.)
Maybe one more week of operating at like 37%. Darn.
Jaclyn spelling me off quizzing Steven on science.
On the bright side, Steven, Jaclyn and I aced exams.
You read that right.
I know you know.
(I thought I was done with studying when I graduated from college.)

22 comments:

Marie said...

Oh, Barbara Jane. Sorry to hear you haven't had a great week. On the upside, I'm sure that your 37% still translates to high 90% in Marieland.

Congrats on the tests, to all three of you.

Neighbor Jane Payne said...

What? Barb, is your middle name Jane? I KNEW WE WERE KINDRED SPIRITS.

You described how I've felt this week...operating on less that 100%. 37% sounds painful, though, and I'm hoping you bounce back this week and feel more energy and revitalized. Congrats on the studying and helping a co-worker in need. Hang in there. And get some sleep.

Tasha said...

Good luck this week! I've been feeling like that too, like I am just running on part of my engine!

Claudissima said...

Oh no....get some rest for sure. It is not fun to feel and be sick...

Denise said...

Blech. Have you been ill? I hope you're back to 100% soon.

P.S. I have decided we never get to be done with studying. Or doing science projects. *sigh*

April said...

I've decided I need to drop everything and send you some vitamin C.

I'm not at 100% either, but its more apathy than anything else. I keep telling myself to pull it together. It's not really working.

I hope you feel better soon, and that if you do not, you will go have a blood test done...I get a little freaked out by tales of general lethargy from my favorite "wonder woman."

Natalie said...

Must be in the winter air. Tired of the cold, fighting off the flu, not enough sunlight, yada, yada!

Hope you're back to normal soon!

melanie said...

Not a good feeling at all! I hope you're on the mend by now.

I get all panicky thinking about studying again. Way to go!

Love those valentines.

Lucy said...

I hope you are back to your usual dizzying percentages now. I get it, though. There are just certain times in our lives when life gets too busy. Add an illness on top of it and poof! Normal life is gone.

Miss you.

Christy said...

Hope you're back on top of your game quickly. I've had a similar lack of effectiveness lately, but only because I seem to be running in circles, and not really accomplishing anything. Every time i think i'll have a productive day, some other crisis comes up, and i end up getting nothing off my list done. Sorry I'll be contributing to your head ache with Toby....

michelle said...

Ouch. 37% sounds painful.

I hate it when I feel like all I can do is survive. I hope you're back to moving forward soon!

Barb said...

Ken jokes about how blogging is an exercise in validation, but it is no joke. It is true. I can't believe how badly I need the positive comments sometimes. This week I managed to really let down another mom at school (my stats may be down to 27% with this one) and I am feeling so down. The positive nature of blogging comments helps on a day like today.

Christy said...

You should leave ken with the dogs, and just come with us.....leaving it all behind for a few days...

cheetah said...

Marie's comment is ridiculous. Guess none of us really see things as they really are. Take care of yourself and the mom will get over it. It's hard not to be at our peak but as long as were still alive were good for something:-)

cheetah said...

oh I put that in the wrong spot. Mark thinks your pregnant. wouldn't that be funny:-)

A Happy Heart Blog said...

Barb, I hope you are feeling better. I know you wrote this ages ago, sorry for not coming by sooner. I hope your week with the extra work went by quickly and you are able to do more things this week and get caught up so to speak. I'm so happy for your older kids who aced their exams - that is so awesome - you must be proud!
I have failed to send Nini's package to Chloe - but Nini is still excited about penpaling it with her - Tell Chole that Nini says hi! Take care my friend.

Jenny said...

I did too until I had kids :) Feel better soon!!

Katie A. said...

That is no fun to feel like you just need more sleep and still can't find extra energy. I do hope it's just a passing thing...maybe the barometer is low? (That's my mom's explanation whenever I just don't feel right..."I think the barometer's low, even the cats don't seem to have any energy.")

Anyway, feel better soon. And if not, I agree with April: go get a check up so we can have our Barb back!

Marie said...

Ha! I am loving Mark's explaination!

Tiffany said...

Hope you're feeling better by now! So frustrating to not feel good and then have to deal with everything too! All the best.

Jill said...

Oh dear, operating on 37% sounds grim, unless you have some sort of Celsius equivalent to percentages in Canada, ha. I hope you're feeling better by now.

Amanda L. said...

Sounds an awful lot like February.

What are you studying for?