Sunday, 15 June 2008

Happy Father's Day

Marie and I both had Father's Day dinner with my parents today. (52 Blessings: living a Sunday-dinner do-able distance from my parents.) As we sat around after dinner we made up a list of phrases our dad uses repeatedly, and Marie tells me I should be the one to do the post because she has another post to write tonight. Boys: join in, leave me a comment, and feel free to add to the list.
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Bernie-isms:
  1. You can put the word "only" in front of just about anything. His response to "It was only $20" or "I'm only 10 minutes past curfew."
  2. WHO'S THE BIGGEST? WHO'S THE STRONGEST? His response to bellyaching that something might be "too hard" to do.
  3. Come here so I can hit you. Translation: Come here. (no actual hitting involved)
  4. These strawberries speak Spanish. A language they learned from the field workers.
  5. My uncle has a canoe. Translation: That last thing the other person said was out of the blue and has nothing to do with what we were talking about.
  6. In this family we can't afford our noses to grow. Don't' lie, it will make your nose grow, and in our family we already have freakishly large noses.
  7. We'd better put a brick on your head so you 'll stop growing. I don't like how quickly you are growing up.
  8. I . . . love . . . you! The grandchildren all know what's coming as soon as he whispers the word 'I' into their ears.
  9. Do you want me to be good or do you want me to have fun? This is something he only says to my mom.
  10. Don't be sorry, just don't do it. Many applications, but I particularly remember this phrase when I made mistakes as I was learning to drive. That may have been when he coined the phrase.
  11. If you were a horse we'd shoot ya. Please quit moaning and reevaluate your injuries, I don't think they're that bad. (I'm not exactly sure how the reference to putting injured horses down evolved into this sentiment.)
  12. A thin horse going into winter. Someone getting very old, nearing the end of their life.
  13. I don't buy green bananas anymore. My dad says this when he is feeling old himself. He might not live long enough to wait for a banana to ripen - he'd better buy them already ripe.
  14. The most important part about making icecream is the spoon. My parents make homemade icecream, but dad makes sure the grandkids know that their eating it is the whole reason Grandma and Grandpa make it.
  15. Save 'hate' for liver. Hate is a strong word.
  16. You don't save money by going shopping. He occasionally rains on our parade when we return from shopping and display all our 'deals'.
  17. I'd rather cut my finger. He'd rather cut his finger than do a lot of things.
  18. When I was in the army . . . He doesn't have a military record, but he credits the army with teaching him how to shell peas or rake a lawn or various other skills.
  19. I was 6 once. That was a great year. The number always corresponds with the age of the person he is speaking to.
  20. You'd better get a stick to beat the boys away. You are getting too grown up and pretty.
  21. We're not building a piano here. Just get the job done! What you are doing doen't require the time and care you are giving it.
  22. Talk like a white man. Speak properly. Drop the baby talk. Drop the slang.
  23. Sometimes we count the votes and sometimes we weigh the votes. (Or: This isn't a democracy.)
  24. Thousands might believe you. But I don't.
  25. Hello, Larry Hollywood. Occasionally he answers the phone this way, but mostly it means "I am lookin' good." (or you are looking good)

20 comments:

cheetah (aka rglhm) said...

It's rumoured I could skip a meal. If I stand sideways, you might not see me.

This is a great piece of family History!

Marie said...

I am so glad Cheetah added those two in her comment. How could we have missed those?

I had so much fun thinking those up with you, and I love your translations so aid those who have not spent time with our dear Bernie.

Jill said...

Your dad sounds so funny, I love all these crazy sayings and their translations.

Kelly said...

I asked Keith to come up with some, but he could only think of ones you already got. He does say, "Oh, Gee." more than anyone else I know.

For a while he would tell me one story about his sister Ruth every single time I talked to him. He seemed to enjoy telling it so much that I didn't have the heart to interrupt him.

I've never heard him say Larry Hollywood. I would find that amusing.

Elizabeth said...

What a great idea to post this. We are always quoting Bobisms over here.

Elisa said...

i'm going to have to borrow that Larry Hollywood one...I love it!

Price Cream Parlor said...

I so enjoyed reading this list! They are so clever and fun! I think that it was aweomse to write it down and capture those forever. What a great idea!

melanie said...

I agree, this is great family history. I can only imagine how funny they are hearing him say them. I love #5 and #16. Fun post!

Tiffany said...

What a funny dad--so great to have these all down! Little family phrases are too funny--like inside jokes. :)

April said...

I found this highly amusing...and I don't even know your dad. Sure makes me want to have Sunday dinner with him though.

Denise said...

Oh, I LOVE this post! I don't even know your dad, but I think I might love him.

A nice tribute!

Amy said...

This thoroughly amused me, too. Especially the Larry Hollywood. Ha! This gives me good insight into how you & Marie & Keith grew up. Love it!

Lucy said...

Fantastic father's day post. He sounds like a charmer.

Laurie said...

I love it. What a great post...one for posterity for sure!

Katie A. said...

These are great. I bet you guys had fun making this list. Such a good Father's Day tribute! I remember meeting your dad at Kelly and Keith's wedding.

I love the green bananas phrase!

Anonymous said...

I wonder how many dads take such abuse from the ladies they love.

Jenny said...

Cute idea with the isms. Hope Ken and your dad had a great Father's Day!

michelle said...

My grandpa says that about green bananas, too! What a great thing to document here.

Amanda L. said...

Oh this list is hilarious!

Your dad sounds like a great man with wisdom and humor.

My dad always said, 'don't be sorry, just don't do it'. It drove me crazy and I've been known to use it once or twice myself!

Mark said...

I know this is a little bit late, but I just thought of one that Dad always says that wasn't recorded here. Here it goes: "Save HATE for Liver"